OPINION

The Hyena: Spirit animal of the ANC

David Bullard |

14 June 2022

David Bullard writes on why that scavenger is the perfect fit for our liberation movement

OUT TO LUNCH

I often wonder what spirit animal the ANC would choose to adequately represent all that the great liberation party stands for. Rather as, in the US, the Republicans are represented by an elephant and the Democrats most appropriately by a donkey.

Having given the matter much thought over the past few days I’ve come to the conclusion that the spotted hyena would best represent the values of the ANC, particularly now as rival clans of the ANC seem to be moving in on one another to snatch whatever is left of the carcass of the South African body politic.

The spotted hyena ticks the boxes for several reasons. Firstly, the hyena is quite capable of being an efficient hunter but generally prefers to scavenge and raid the kills of other predators. This is a perfect metaphor for Black Economic Empowerment where we have seen, over the past twenty-eight years, the ANC hyenas demand a major shareholding in businesses to which they have contributed nothing.

They haven’t started the businesses, they contribute very little to the running of the businesses and they often haven’t a clue how the businesses operate. But there they are, thanks to cadre deployment, sitting on the board, drawing fat salaries and rushing off to spend them on luxury cars and other bling. This bling display demonstrates to the lesser hyenas the hierarchy within the clan and shows what is possible if you can’t be bothered to make your own killing.

Secondly, the hyena is right in tune with all the latest Marxist LGBTQ+ and trans thinking which is currently plaguing our schools. The genitalia of the female closely resembles that of the male; the clitoris is shaped and positioned like a penis and is capable of erection. A bit puzzling for the biological male hyenas when it comes to mating time no doubt but, judging by the proliferation of hyena cubs obviously everything finally works out well in this trans animal community.

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The Wikipedia entry for the spotted hyena also mentions that it is known as the ‘laughing hyena’ and anyone who has been paying close attention to the goings on at Nkandla these past few years would immediately see the similarity.

Wikipedia continues : “The species has a largely negative reputation in African folklore……It is viewed as greedy, gluttonous, stupid, and foolish, yet powerful and potentially dangerous”. Nuff said.

But, as Mrs B has reminded me, the spotted hyena is also the wildlife equivalent of your local garbage collector. It consumes virtually every part of the carcass including the bones and leaves virtually no evidence that there has even been a kill. As one of nature’s most efficient cover up operators it is surely a worthy symbol of the ANC.

Another astonishingly appropriate similarity is the territorial activity of the spotted hyena. The clans have clearly defined hunting areas and if a hyena from one clan strays into the area of a rival clan there could be trouble. So, for example, a Gauteng hyena would be well advised to stay away from the KZN clan hunting ground although a hyena that regularly strays into another clan’s territory may eventually be accepted into that clan.

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The real problem comes when food becomes in short supply and the hyenas are forced to fight with each other for survival. Which is precisely what we are seeing with the ANC now.

Two distinct clans of political hyenas worried about their own survival and quite happy to rip one another apart with no regard for the long-term consequences. Where’s a pride of political lions when you really need one?

Dinner with Cyril

Bang smack in the middle of what some have termed ‘Sofagate’, in which some $4 million in cash was allegedly stolen from Pres Frogboiler’s Limpopo game farm came the invitation to stump up R1million for the privilege of sitting at the Frogboiler top table at the ANC’s forthcoming Gala dinner in July. ___STEADY_PAYWALL___